TSA – Can I, or Can I Not (bring it on)?

“3-1-1.” “Take out your laptops.” “Remove all liquids.” “Take your pants off.” If you’ve ever stood in the security lines at airports, you’ve likely heard some version of those statements, or others. Equally frustrating is the sheer number of people who are surprised that you can’t bring certain things on board the aircraft. For the record, while I have no issues with service animals, I struggle with the concept of Emotional Support Animals. Why do people insist on trying to fit a closet sized suitcase in the overhead compartment?

I digress.

It is easy to hate on the Transportation Security Administration, or TSA. Indeed they have a thankless job, but so what if I want to bring my blender in my carry on. Who is that going to harm? Maybe it’s my “comfort tool”.

How do I know what I can bring?

Surprisingly, the TSA does a nice job detailing exactly what things can be brought in a carry on bag, or in your checked bags. They have crafted a very nice website to answer the age-old question of “What Can I Bring”? I strongly encourage you to check it out. It is a fascinating list.

The TSA has also been thoughtful, providing detailed guidelines and recommendations for traveling with medicine, firearms, small children, and even portable battery chargers.

Remember, you can always reach out to @AskTSA on Twitter if you have real-time questions.

So, what is on this list, exactly?

This is just a subset of the overall list, but here are a few of the highlights:

• Airbrush Make-up Machine
  Allowed on both your carry on, and checked bags. I can almost hear the sigh of relief. Also, now I know how hard I don’t have it.
  
• Alcoholic beverages over 140 proof
  Not allowed at all on the aircraft. Talk about a buzzkill. It took a long time to get that stuff brewed in the bathtub.
  
• Antlers
  Fully allowed. It is recommended you check your airline’s overhead bin space if you want to carry them on.
  
• Arc Lighters, Plasma Lighters, Electronic Lighters
  Not allowed at all. I don’t know what an Arc Lighter or Plasma Lighter is, but I feel like I want one now.
• Baby Formula
  Fully allowed in reasonable quantities. Parental Pro Tip – take advantage of this. We brought a Nalgene sized container of formula, and hot water, and we were allowed through. TSA just tested the liquid. The TSA has some additional suggestions for traveling with children found here.
• Bear Bangers and Bear Spray
  Not allowed in any quantities aboard the flight. Where are you flying to?
  
• Billy Clubs
  Not allowed in your carry on, but you can check this item. When you fly to intimidate someone, it’s nice to know you can bring your own billy club.
  
• Body Armor
  Fully allowed in both carry on or checked bags. If you’re not in law enforcement, you must be into some extreme paintballing or something.
• Bowling Pins
  Allowed in checked luggage, but not in your carry on. The TSA says it best, “Sports equipment that can be used as a bludgeon (such as bats and clubs) is prohibited in the cabin of the plane…”
  
• Butane
  Not allowed on board, because of course it’s not allowed. One underwear bomber is enough.
• Car Parts
  Generally allowed if they are free of fuel or traces of fuel. Yet I wonder what the heck you’re doing with your 350 Chevy short block that you need to fly with it.
  
• Chocolate (liquid and solid)
  Generally allowed, but fascinating that the TSA needed to specifically call out this item. How many questions came up before that had to be carved out of the master list?
  
• Crampons
  Generally allowed. However, if you don’t know what they are, I suggest you search it. They’re not what you think.
• Crowbars
  Not allowed in your carry on. You’ll have to open your snacks using some other method. Otherwise, take your bulk order of crowbars and check it. Then check your airline for luggage weight considerations.
  
• Desktop Computers
  Fully allowed, but if you want to carry it on, please use a separate bin for x-ray screening. No LAN party is the same if you’re not using your rig. Also, part of me now wants to use a desktop tower AS my carry on.
• Dry Ice
  Generally allowed, if under 5.5 pounds and labeled properly. That Halloween party is going to be off the hook! Or, students, respect the effort your science teacher puts in. I can’t think of any other reason why you would have dry ice on an airplane.
  
• Dynamite
  Generally not allowed. The only exception is NEVER. Dude, you can’t bring dynamite on a plane! Who is even asking?
  
• English Christmas Crackers
  Not allowed at all on an airplane. If you don’t know what a Crampon is, it’s likely you don’t know what an English Christmas Cracker is. I’ll leave you to your searching.
• Firecrackers, Fireworks, and Flare Guns
  Not allowed at all, for the same reason as dynamite. What are you doing?
  
• Geiger Counters
  For you radiation enthusiasts or extreme radiophobists, you can bring your Geiger counter in your carry on, or checked bags. Whew, I was worried for a second.
  
• Hookahs
  Fully allowed. Just don’t light it up in the bathroom. Pro Tip – don’t attempt to tamper with the smoke detectors.
  
• Hummus
  Generally allowed, although quantity limits may apply to your carried-on hummus. For you hipsters out there, your hummus is safe with you.
• Kirpans (Cutting or thrusting weapons, including fencing foils)
  Not allowed in your carry on, but you can check them. It’s probably best to save the fencing practice until you leave the airport.
• Kubotan
  Check it, but don’t carry it on. Search this one too, because I had never heard of a Kubotan. If your significant other has one, they likely have seen some crazy stuff.
• Light Saber
  Direct from the TSA page – “Sadly, the technology doesn’t currently exist to create a real lightsaber. However, you can pack a toy lightsaber in your carry-on or checked bag. May the force be with you.” Oh TSA, you rascals.
• Live Coral, and Live Fish
  Not allowed in your checked luggage, but allowed to be carried on. This comfort animal thing is getting crazy.
  
• Magic 8 Ball
  Regarding the “toy”, the TSA says it best here as well – “For Carry-on bags: We asked the Magic 8 Ball and it told us…Outlook not so good!
  For Checked bags: We asked the Magic 8 Ball and it told us…It is certain!”
  
• Metal Detector
  Potentially allowed, but check with your airline on size restrictions. What happens if a metal detector goes through a metal detector? What happens if you whip out your metal detector during scanning? Why do you have that thing on an airplane?
  
• Nunchucks
  You can check, but not carry on, Michelangelo. Kowabunga!!
  
• Rocket Launcher
  Unfortunately, not allowed to be brought on the airline. Sorry.
• Solar Panels
  The TSA recommends you ask your airline, due to size concerns. Hope you got such a good deal that you felt the need to bring your solar panels on the airplane.
• Throwing Stars
  Not allowed in your carry on, but you can check. How many ninja turtles do we have flying in airplanes these days?
  
• Tortilla Press
  Of course these are allowed! I never leave home without mine.
• Vehicle Airbags
  Not allowed on the airline. Although, if you find yourself in possession of one, and it’s not in a car, and you want to bring it on an airplane, I have so many questions for you.
  

#StayVigilant
#StaySafe
#LookOutForEachOther